My Outlandish Life

The word sexy is defined as sexually attractive and exciting. I think I’m a sexy woman, and I have a lot of really sexy friends…and there are a slew of sexy bodies in this group. But that’s only a miniscule part of sexuality. These sexy women have sexy minds, sexy personalities, and sexy senses of humor. So before I even get into clothing, I want to be very clear on my stance that there is a whole lot about a woman that makes her sexy, and a body is just one of those things. Women who understand this are powerful women. These are the women I’m raising.

Now, let’s talk about female teen clothing and sexuality for just a sec. I am a big fan of self-expression, and I believe clothes are a fantastic way to express ourselves. For example, you can tell from my clothing that I’m comfortable in my own skin and celebrate my body, that I have a deep love for the southwest, that I value comfort and functionality (I’m busy), and that I’m a woman of confidence who doesn’t mind standing out. Furthermore, as a woman, I personally prefer clothing that makes me feel beautiful, fashion forward, and yes…even sexy. Frumpy and dowdy are not things I am going for in my daily look.

Our teenagers feel the same. I know that. I get that. Teenagers want to express themselves and feel cute, trendy, and sexy also. But why must that mean overtly sexualized? It makes me crazy to see teen girls in barely any clothing, more of their bodies exposed than covered, everything skin-tight, dresses barely covering their essential parts…at 13, 14, or 15 years old! And I cannot understand who thinks this is a good or healthy idea. By letting your teen dress so promiscuously are you telling them “yes, your body is indeed the best thing you have going, so you should show it off”?

Why do we not dress our 4yr old daughters in bra tops and spandex booty shorts, or body-con dresses? Because it’s not age-appropriate, because they are children and not meant to be seen as sexual objects, and it’s creepy…

News flash, teenagers are still children!

Again, I’m all for fashion, self-expression, and feeling sexy. I’m not against my young teenage girl wearing something that makes her feel beautiful and sexy, but I also believe in age-appropriate clothing. I have a daughter in her twenties, who I am more than OK with expressing herself a little further (not that I have any control over what she wears at all, because she is an adult). She wears crop tops or shorter dresses/ skirts that I wouldn’t let my 14-year-old wear, yet they are totally appropriate on her at 22. She’s also old enough to understand occasion-appropriate attire.

My fourteen-year-old on the other hand is not an adult, nor will she be when she is 16. It’s my job to protect her, because she’s not responsible for herself yet. Wearing oversexualized clothing at an age where I don’t think she’s mature enough to handle the sexual advances that they may cause, is putting her at risk. Plus it’s teaching her that her body is valued for only one thing, which I think is disgusting and untrue.

Now, before you go crazy on me, clearly I do not think that wearing sexualized clothing is an excuse for inappropriate male behavior, ever. But creeps are everywhere, whether I like it or not. As an adult, I know that when I wear a low-cut top, I’m allowing people to see my cleavage. I’m not inviting them to gawk or touch, but I also know that I have the maturity to handle it were I to receive something unwanted. So I can choose to show whatever I like, and deal with whatever anyone thinks of it. I feel like that’s a lot to expect from a teenager.

My personal opinion is, my daughter will have her whole twenties to show off her amazing beautiful adult body, when she is old enough to make the adult choice to do so. My job, while she’s a teen, is to protect her and remind her that she is sexy and beautiful in many ways, and her body is just one of them.