How to have amazing kids who turn into healthy adults- the unedited version

you may have read this post on my church facebook, it is a post I wrote about 3 weeks ago.  but, I made several edits and changes for the church site, so here it is in original form….

So no, there isn’t actually a secret formula that guarantees healthy kids, parenting is hard…like for real hard.  Kids are AMAZING, really, watching them grow is the most amusing thing life has to offer.  Noting brings total exhilaration like watching your child accomplish something new in life.  But our kids are not meant to be the focus of the home.  We have created Kid-centered homes, and I think it is to the detriment of our children, not to mention our marriages (Don’t even get me started oh how this ruins marriages).  Henri Nouwen says that we need to remember that our children are temporary guests in our home.  Wow, that changes things.

before the 1930’s and child labor laws, kids were born into a home for more than just love and passing down the family name.  Children were born to help the family, to run the home, work the land, pass down the family business.  I’m not saying that was right or wrong, but somewhere we let the pendulum swing too far the other direction.  Parents began working for their kids, and I mean working.  Parents run their kids from one thing to the other,the calm their whining, and cater to their every whim.  And we have created monsters, fire breathing, foot stomping, crybaby monsters.  And more than anything, we are prolonging (or completely hindering) healthy adulthood.

I’m not saying it’s easy, we love our kids, and we want what is best for them.  But somewhere we have to draw a line in the sand people.  There has to be a happy medium between child labor and kids running the roost.  Now hear me say, I really do think our kids should be doing labor in our homes.  Our kids being active members of the family who help the home run is something valuable that we have lost, and we are seeing the effects.

Amazing kids who become healthy adults are kids who contribute to the family and the home.  They are kids who are told no, kids who aren’t allowed to be whine just because they didn’t get their way, and kids who don’t always win (meaning they are taught to lose).  Healthy kids that become healthy adults grow up in God centered, family centered homes, not kid centered ones.  They learn to give, work, and sacrifice for one another.  They understand that family isn’t all about them, it’s about the whole and God is at the center.

And that’s my rant!

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