Tales of a Thankless Mother

Sometimes motherhood sucks.

It truly is the most thankless job on Earth. I know, when your kids are little you think “one day they’ll appreciate all this that I did for them”, but let’s be honest, I think I was in my 30’s with 3 kids of my own before I got there!

And it’s not just your kids who don’t appreciate you. It’s your spouse who doesn’t appreciate that you are the one who has made sure your kids have been fed, clothed, and cleaned for their entire lives. It’s your job who doesn’t appreciate that you’re getting all your work done even though you’re still making sure your whole family is taken care of and gets everywhere they’re supposed to be. It’s even those dang School teachers, who I know are totally going to assign ridiculous homework on the first week of school that we parents have to do. Like we have time for this crap!

And yes, I’m going on a bit of a rant here, because I just sat at dinner with my two teenage children as they relived every low and horrible moment of my motherhood in front of my parents. Like my worst slideshow ever, the kind I grew up believing would happen in front of God one day as he replayed my worst moments and sins in front of me after I die, to decide if I was good enough to go to heaven. It was like that exactly. Only without pictures, and in some ways worse than being in front of God, because it was in front of my parents. I honestly laughed it off to keep from crying. This is every mother’s fear, that our kids will remember every horrible thing we’ve ever done, every time we’ve completely lost it, and will totally throw it back in your face. That’s what mine did Tonight, as entertainment, like it was funny.

However, there was no “thanks Mom for staying up with me every single time I’ve ever been sick for my whole life”. Or “thanks Mom for cleaning actual crap off my butt all those years as a baby”. No “thanks Mom for washing my hair for the first seven years of my life”. Or “thanks Mom for cooking me dinner, buying groceries, doing the laundry, making sure our house wasn’t falling apart, shopping for me, running me around to everything, and every other thing you do….because Dad’s not doing it….and we’re sure as heck not doing it”. No, there was none of that.

Being a mom means your controlling and handling everything. Like a master juggler, keeping all the plates spinning. And while the family all sleeps peacefully, you stay up all night long worrying about anything they have going on, maybe for days or weeks. But if you’re feeling bad, if you you’re sick or stressed out, trust me…they all sleep like babies.

And to be fair, there is that one whole day a year when everyone remembers all that you’ve done. Mother’s Day. We do get that one day. I mean personally, we’ve had baseball tournaments every year on that day for years now, so…(you don’t even want to get me started on that). And, I know, Dad’s could technically say the same thing, except for men are totally more appreciated. The man Club is full of appreciation for one another. I know that is totally sexist, but it’s true. It’s a man’s world out there. Plus, generally speaking, and mostly true, men just don’t handle as much in the home with their children as women. They just don’t, so they don’t need the appreciation, because they’re literally NOT DOING IT.

Now, I LOVE my job. I work in probably the best place on Earth to have a family, because it’s not like anybody is going to tell you that you can’t be home with your sick kid or help take care of your parents when you work at a church. But still, who isn’t bothered by the fact that you have to miss work to take care of your family? Especially because the guys aren’t gone near as much (as stated above). I mean, you’re still getting all your crap done, but you just have to be gone, and it’s annoying. I know I’m annoyed by it, and they’re my kids.. And still its not like anyone is going to be saying “thanks for being a great mom and spiritual role model to mothers, and still making sure all your work is done, even though your family takes up so much time, you rock! I wish we had 20 more employees just like you….” because frankly, and absent employee equals… an absent employee.

Yes, Motherhood is thankless. It’s expected, not appreciated, well, not regularly, and not for a while anyways.

And now I will step down from my soap box. I will go back to serving everyone else over myself, and it’ll likely go on being unnoticed 90% of the time. And you know what? I wouldn’t give any of it up, and I would choose it all over, a million times. Because I love betting a mom, I love my kids (even when they are selfish), and I love my clueless husband. I love them so much, that the sacrifice is so beyond worth it for them. I always will choose them. Always. And it’s every bit worth it without a lick of appreciation.

But for this words of affirmation girl, a little sure would be nice… at least for today.


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