How I get through a whole lot of life mess.

I have not blogged in a really really really long time. Honestly I have not painted my nails, gone swimming (I like to swim laps at a local pool), or generally done anything for myself in a really long time. To say things have been crazy would be the understatement of the year. Things have been bananas in my life. As an old friend of mine used to say, of my life is shambly, i.e. as in my life is in shambles, but not like serious shambles, just hectic and overwhelming enough to feel…shambly…

It’s OK though. Sometimes life is shambly. Sometimes life is just a mess, and all you can do is do life in the eye of the hurricane untill it passes. That’s just reality. Especially reality with teenagers. Have I mentioned I currently have 3 teenagers?… and a preteen?… and a 9 year old?… I mean… parents who complain about the baby and toddler years, give me a break! What I would do to be able to put one of my kids in a playpen and walk away. Just kidding…kind of… But, I can’t, as much as they probably actually need to be in a playpen sometimes, you just can’t. And so we just pull up our boots and wade through the massive piles of muck, and try to salvage what we can.

That’s what we are in right now, salvage mode. And salvage mode is really healthy actually. When things really really suck, and you realize how much you really are there for each other even when life is shambly, it’s a good thing. It’s good for my kids, and it’s good for Matt and I’s marriage too. When our family is a mess, our marriage is kind of a mess…reality. But, then we have this amazing opportunity to say that we have to make an effort. Because if we don’t, we will completely lose one another in the debris. So we chose to make an effort, we are intentional, and it’s good.

As my dear wise friend loves to say, you can get through it or grow through it, and it’s really beautiful and amazing when you see growth come out of nasty.

So my 13 year old says the wisest thing to me yesterday. Now hear me say, I have long been a believer but there is no such thing as a wise teenager. It’s an oxymoron, a myth, a fragment of imagination….something I have often compared to unicorns, or the lochness monster. It’s one of those things that would be really cool to see, but we know we’re probably going to live our entire lives having never actually laid eyes on it. But yet here my 13 year old was, saying something wise…

She said she’d been given an assignment at school, to write, if you could take a magic pill to erase all the bad in your life, would you do it and why or why not. She said everyone was of course saying they would take the magic pill, but she was going to say she wouldn’t do it, because through all the crapy things and bad choices, she realizes that she learns a lot about who she is and who she really wants to be, and she’s not sure she’d be a good person if she could just erase everything bad that ever happened. Then my 11 year old then jumps and says, “You’re right, I hate getting punished and getting in trouble, but everybody I know whose parents don’t ever get on to them or make them have consequences or ever get in trouble, they’re all kind of rude jerks.” So they conclude that they would rather be good people than rude jerks, whatever it takes. My 15 year old however, says give me the magic pill. But come on, he’s 15. We can’t win them all!

Let’s be honest, if I could take a magic pill to get rid of all the crap, I say hand over this heavenly pill of utopia, I’m all in! But the truth still remains, Kelly Clarkson is still my Yoda, and what she says rings true, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Even a teenager knows it ;). And man am I gonna be Super Woman by the time I launch all 5 of them into the world.

So for today, we will focus on growth and intentionally in the muck, and on loving one another well this valentine’s day.

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