Teenagerhood, will I survive it? Honestly…I don’t know. I used to joke that one of us may not make it out alive, but it wasn’t going to be me…now I’m not so sure. With my oldest turning 15 at the end of summer, I am deep in the throes of teenagerhood, and honestly, it’s like a scary movie…danger is lurking around every corner. And just like the movies, most of the time she’s running up the stairs instead of out the door. She’s literally walking right into it instead of hightailing it out of there. Here I am screaming, OUT THE DOOR, RUN OUT THE DOOR! But just like the movies, she seems to not hear me.
It’s not just the scary stupidity of adolescence either, it’s the Jekyll/ Hydeness of it all that can really make your head spin. One moment your thinking “this kid is brilliant, really, brilliant. She is smart, funny, artistic, and frankly just amazing!” Next minute, “I’m not even really sure she can make a logical decision, AT ALL!” One minute laughing, next minute crying. And I’m not just talking about her. One minute I’m truly laughing, the next, crying. It’s exhausting.
And why, why, WHY do I turn into the crazy mom with the crazy eyes, actual spit foaming at my mouth? I know that at least half the time she’s going to walk up the stairs and into danger. I know that the crying will soon turn into laughing again (for both her and me), so why do I turn into an unhinged lunatic? I honestly DO NOT know…
I can actually feel the grey hairs sprouting…like my old Play Dough beauty shop, I can literally feel them protruding through my scalp. I personally don’t like to call them grey hairs, it’s so depressing. Besides, mine are more silver than grey. Silver, slightly less depressing…slightly. Instead, I like to call them my tinsel hairs, or my sparkle hairs. It sounds much less doleful. All the same, their coming 😦
Yes, one of us may not make it out alive, and at this point I’m honestly not sure which one of us my money is on. But I know this: It’s an exciting adventure, prayer is the only thing that will get me through it, but wine helps.