Tonight I taught a class on communication in marriage. Taught being the operative word. The class was filled with people in marriage of all stages, but the majority of the couples having been married longer than I have been on the earth. And what I realized is that marriages need work and attention, even 50 years in, and we all have something to learn from each other. I loved watching people who have been married longer that I have had breath in my lungs learn and take notes on how to grow their marriages. It was one of the more beautiful things I’ve ever experienced.
One enlightening advice nugget that I learned from one of these patriarchs in marital union was this: One woman shared an experience that changed her marriage. She said early on in her marriage someone encouraged her to keep from saying a negative comment or word to her husband for 30 days. The key was, if she said a negative word, the 30 days started over. She said it took her more than 90 days to make it 30 days straight. To which I said, “that’s pretty good”. Yikes, did I say that out loud? Yup I did, but it’s true. I think it would take me longer…Ugh! But I told her I was up for the challenge and not just with my husband. I’m making the commitment, 30 days no negative comments to my family. Now, let me remind you that I have a teenager…So lets all start praying now!!! But isn’t this how I should be doing family, isn’t this the kind of people we are supposed to be with our spouses and kids? Wouldn’t our marriages and families change if we all took this advice? Her husband was so shocked at the change that he announced “I’ve got a new wife, and I want a new honeymoon” and took her to Hawaii. We’ll I want in! So there it is, my public commitment. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.