Why I reject being a step-mom

Step mom.  It’s a horrible term.  Feels like stepped on mom, which is a horrible thought.  And frankly, sometimes it feels that way.  Not because of the son, no he’s great.  But just because of the situation.  Sometimes I can’t help it but be the 6th wheel.  It’s normal.  My other son (you may call this step son, but I hate stepped on son as much as I hate the idea of stepped on mom, so there you go) comes to see his dad and siblings, I’m a consolation prize.  Not sure he sees me as that, but that’s what I’m going with.

The taxation of preparing for the visit of my other son (did I mention he lives in Canada) is totally way more taxing than the actuality of it all.  I always create these awkward situations in my head, but in reality he fits into our family like a perfect puzzle piece.  Yet I can’t help but feel totally stressed that everything is going to go horribly wrong every time.  I mean, this kid is trying to find his place in our home, and frankly I’m not quite sure if he thinks we are total nut bags or not.  my husband is trying to have a relationship with his son, my kids are trying to figure out how to have a brother they only see twice a year, and I’m trying to show this kid I’m here for him without being overbearing, pushy, or a total weirdo…Yes, I’m just trying to keep everyone from being squashed, including me.

Cumbersome, that is the only word I can think of.  Like a large box that you just can’t get your arms around to get a good handle on.  So what am I?  I don’t know exactly, maybe I never will…Sometimes I may even be stepped on (even by my own husband and kids).  And don’t even come at me with ‘Bonus Mom’, that is even too cheesy for me (and that’s saying something).  I’m just going to keep being and thinking like a mom, and the rest will work itself out.

One thought on “Why I reject being a step-mom

  1. Being a step mom myself, I feel like step mom is also the wrong term. I think we should use the term super mom. As we all know being a mom is not always easy. Moms are the glue that holds a family together, keeps things clean, makes sure everyone stays on schedule, helps us remember appointments, and makes sure all the little things are taken care of! Now on top of all that we have to figure out how to add another child to our family without taking notes the place of their mom. I have found that very hard. How do you take a child into your home when you are supposed to treat them like your own and love them like your own (this part is easy) but at the same time not be able to treat them like your own. You have to bite your tongue, and let their dad and mom make the decisions with/for them. You change everything to make them fit into your family, feel loved, and welcomed all the time. And yet you get no recognition, love, or appreciation for the sacrifices you make being that “super mom” (step-mom)!


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