The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I’ve written a lot of posts about adoption over the years. I’ve often said, adoption is every emotion you’ve ever experienced to the highest degree. The good and bad.
So here it is, National Adoption month, and before this month ends, I feel it’s only right to write another blog on adoption. I’m here to be a voice for adoption today, to speak out to the injustice of unloved children, and to ask you how you can help.
Ever seen the meme or heard the joke… When we talk about adoption and someone says “you know, you can’t save them all”. “Oh we know that, so if you could adopt 1 or 2, that’d be great…”
Why do people say that? You can’t save them all? Um yeah…I think we know we’re just about tapped out over here, but someone’s gotta do something don’t they? With that mindset, what’s the point in trying to improve anything or help anyone if you can’t do it all? Come on people! You can’t be talking to a sleep deprived, over stressed, crazy lady, spouting illogical remarks, and not get burned…thats on you! 😉
And yet, it’s not like we are thinking that way really. Heck, with a bio kid in college, and the other so close to graduation we can taste it, we are regularly thinking, “why did we extend in-home parenting 8 years again…wouldn’t it be nice and easy if we were almost done?” Oh yeah, a Biblical command to father the fatherless, that’s why! And let’s be honest, we’ll be lucky if we’re a kid free home in 8 years. We get it, its scary, I’m here to testify to all your biggest fears and nightmares. #livingthem! But here before National adoption month ends, I have to ask you to look inside your heart and ask yourself what your part to play is, because we can’t do it all, and because adoption is Love.
It is so so so so hard, harder than you can understand or than I can help you understand. The older they are, the harder it is. Creating that motherly bond, it takes work. If you adopt over the age of infant, it’s not natural, it’s hard…it takes years. Dealing with past trauma, emotional, physical, and medical diagnosises and the THOUSANDS of specialty appointments that entails, is hard. No kid escapes trauma unscathed, and bonus, everyone has an opinion about what you should or shouldn’t be doing. But we foster and adoptive mothers are experts, we read books every day trying to make normal from mess, we go to weekly therapy, and annual conferences. And we do it all for love. Not ooey gooey warm feelings love. We do it for the choice to love the unloved and sometimes un-lovely. Because, we can be so un-lovely and yet we get to be loved. How is that fair?
So you might not be able to adopt, because of age, medical condition, finances, or other, but you can help an adoptive mom on this national adoption month (it’s not over yet), because she’s running (or has run) the worlds longest marathon, and she’s DOG tired.
Adoption is love. How can you be and show love to a family doing their best to be that love? How can you make a difference in the lives of kids who need some extra love this holiday season?