Ok, so I’m generally known as a confident person. I feel pretty good about who I am and how I look. Sure, there are some curves I wish weren’t there, or the occasional pimple-like I’m some kind of pubescent teenager (seriously, in your mid 30’s can’t you finally be done with that?). And yes, silver hairs keep popping up on my head like mushrooms after a heavy rain. But whatever! I like me, my husband likes me, and I really don’t care about the rest of you…But sometimes I’m still a normal, self loathing girl. I hate it, but we all have it. When and where did it begin? I don’t know. But as girls, there is this expectation of beauty. We are expected to possess alluring beauty, stop traffic, make heads turn…Women are supposed to be beautiful. And well, sometimes that pressure is overwhelming, sometimes we don’t feel so pretty.
About this time last week, I was feeling down right terrible about myself. I know it happens to all of us at some point or another, we get down on ourselves for the curves we have, or lack there of. There I was getting ready for my husbands Christmas party, and that 15 pounds I gain and loose, and gain and loose over and over again…well, it seems as though I’m on the upper end. My dress was tighter than I wanted, and I lost it. I lost it like a hormonal teenager, a pile of dresses at my feet, my husband staring at me with a look of bemused shock on his face. I’m not proud of it, but it happened.
This week I’m over it again. Bring on the Christmas cookies and Hot Buttered Rum, I’ll loose that 15lbs after the New Year. But the bottom line is, we are all allowed moments of weakness, but then it’s time to get up and get over it. We have to learn to be confident in the skin we are in, whatever it’s shape, size, or paleness…Because confidence, that is what is truly beautiful.