love list

The last few days of the dare have made me realize how bipolar we all are and why relationship is so hard.  It’s focused on displaying love, remembering the reasons you love your spouse, seeing the best in them, celebrating their achievements, trying to greet them daily with love, etc.

My favorite day this week I was asked to list all the things I love about my spouse (I was also asked to list the negative too and burn it, a bit melodramatic, so I skipped that part…).  Then the dare asked that I find a way to tell Matt one positive from the list.  I did this with everyone in the house.  Since girls love nothing more than to be esteemed and told all the reasons they are loved, my girls ate this up.  I watched smiles stretch across their faces and their little hearts melt in love as I nonchalantly kissed them goodnight that evening with a “you know why I love you so much” statement.  My husband and son needed to hear why I respected them, why they are valued, and I watched them both swell with pride.  This is love to my men.

But herein also lies the confusion.  Men want to be respected and needed, but aren’t really looking for damsels in distress.  They want a companion, a friend.  I’m already witnessing this in my son, he’s looking for a buddy in the girls he likes.  Men want mutual respect, a partner, but just one they can save the day for every now and then.  Women of course want romantic, desiring, love.  I’m already witnessing this in my teenager who is anxiously awaiting her first romantic gesture, to be swept off her feet. Heck, I see it in my 7yr old as she says things like “when I get married”.  As women we want to be treated like delicate, precious, captivating flowers that someone carefully scoops up.  But who are also respected and valued for our thoughts, opinions, and abilities.

If we can figure all of this out, it changes the game.  Here’s to love.

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