I wrote a blog about a year ago titled Teenagers where I compared having a teenager to a horror movie, (you can read it here: https://myoutlandishlife.wordpress.com/2015/06/11/teenagers/). Now, I feel like I’m in the sequel. Like a bad 2nd movie. I know the plot, I know the characters, and I get the gist of how this story is going to play out. Your watching it thinking, “this isn’t real, how do you end up in the same situation again, how is this even possible”. Yet here we are again…I actually thought that once I got through the stupid years of teenager-hood (you know, the ‘know it all’ Jr High years) that my teen would become that fun girl-friend teen that I had been so looking forward to…Boy was I wrong. Turns out that the stupid teen years don’t go away. In reality a wise teenager seems to be an oxymoron, an anomaly; it’s like Big Foot, UFO’s, or the Loch Ness Monster. Some believe it could be true, but no ones ever actually seen it.
The crux of the matter is, teenagers believe themselves to be wise. They think they have it all figured out, so why would they need the wisdom of anyone else, much less OLD PEOPLE like their parents.
Ok, so actually my teenager is a good kid, she’s just a teenager which equals being not so highly intelligent in her decision making processes….And let’s be honest, she’s way to pretty for her own good. I don’t want to brag here or anything, but it’s just true. Maybe we could look into a mole implant or something. Like right in the middle of her face…
Truth, teenagers are idiot savants. I mean this. Yes, I have a Bachelors and a Masters degree and I read about 2-4 books a month, but I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader, much less a teen. Without Google I would never be able to help my kids with homework. My teen stopped coming to me with homework a long time ago. She is way more knowledgeable than me on many, many things. But, an absolute moron in regards to others. For example: Teens year after year think they are in love with their high school boyfriends/girlfriends. Haven’t we made this cliche enough? Or why do they think they are invincible? Even though they know it’s not true, they still think nothing will actually happen to them. Don’t get me started on driving. And why, oh why do teens think that we, as parents, are completely clueless about how teenagers think, operate, or what it’s like to be a teen? It was not that long ago OK, and BTW, I was pretty cool in High School if you must know!
In reality having a teenager is kind-of fun. It is a super bizarre transition from child to adulthood and it is cool to watch your kid turn into a semi-adult/ semi-friend. But, those cool moments are sprinkled in with gut wrenching, nail biting, exhausting week and month long stretches that make you want to throw your hands up in the air and cry mercy. Since writing my first blog about the difficulty of raising a teen last year, I am no sooner to figuring out how to guide my teen towards making wise decisions than I am at getting my dog to play the piano….
And so the grey’s keep coming like weeds in a garden. I pull out one and it seems two more grow in it’s place. Will I make it out alive? Will she? I”m not sure…but I do know this, I’m not going down without a fight! And a glass of wine.