Love is tricky. No person can make you feel more safe, validated, and accepted than those you love. Nor can any other person make you feel more anger, fear, or frustration. Thus is relationship…
A few years ago my husband and I were in a less than great place. We had gone through something horrible with our child and I was blaming and holding onto unforgiveness. It wasn’t even all logical, but who said love was ever logical? My husband did something during that time that made a world of difference. He Love Dared me. Let me explain. I’ll start by saying that if you’ve ever seen a Christian movie, you may be immediately tempted to be turned off by what I’m about to say, stick with me. Yes I know, Christian movies are mediocre at best (sorry if you really like them, stick with me whilst I rant for a moment). They have bad acting (except for Kurt Cameron. Ok, so my sister and I totally had his poster on our wall in the 80’s, big fan!), not to mention that they are WAY overly spiritualized. But, the point is that in one of these Kurt Cameron movies he Love Dares his wife. And after the movie they released the book, a 40 day dare. Each day consists of a small way you can focus on loving your partner well, and it’s actually really good material.
My husband Love Dared me, and during this 40 days I healed and forgave. For 40 days he focused on loving me well, and I was what he referred to as “a sleeping dragon” (whom he was hoping not to wake) for most of it.
I tell you all of this for this reason: Starting on Sunday (yes, love day) I’m starting the dare. We are in a great place in our relationship, but I want to focus on loving well with my entire family more, and I think this is a good tool. Hear me say, I’m not AT ALL trying to pass this off as a marriage saver or miracle worker, and there are MANY far better books I would recommend for marriages in trouble, but I will say this…Amazing things happen when you quit focusing on you and your needs all the time and start focusing on your partner. So, for the next 40 days stay tuned, and see what happens in my home. No way I’m blogging everyday, but I’m going to try and blog at least a few times a week to keep you posted. I’m also not about to say that I won’t for any reason blog about anything else the next 40 days, but it will be in addition to these. So, here’s to love!