Working full-time and being a mom is real hard

I have 3 kids and I work Full Time, and I am 100% sure that no one understands what that really means but other Full Time working moms.  Working dads don’t get it and stay at home moms don’t get it (sorry, but you don’t.  I was a stay at home mom for a few years, you are severely under-appreciated and in serious need of adult monologue, but your daily struggles and mine are different).  So here are some stats I found about full time working mama’s mixed in with the stories of my own life, and I am FOR SURE feeling the truth in them.

  1. Mornings Suck.  Ok yes, mornings suck for all moms, but working mom’s are getting kids out the door, worrying about breakfast and lunch, signing forms and grabbing backpacks, all while trying to get themselves out the door with everything they need for their own work day.  Example one of why I am NEVER to work on time.  Time management and me are not exactly friends…And it’s not just mornings.  Almost every evening, I rush home from work just to rush through dinner, and rush a kid to their evening event.  There is rarely down time.  And yes, this is true for working dads too.  Four-in-ten working mothers with children under age 18 said they always feel rushed.  
  2. I really have precious little spare time and when I do, I want to spend it with my kids (or spending a little free time to myself, because as just stated, we are exhausted and in need of a break)…I don’t get to take off work for every school holiday and field trip (not because my work necessarily cares, but because I have work to do) and it kills me.  At the same time, I feel guilty when I do take off for the work I’m missing and the people who are inconvenienced for my not being there. There is a lot of guilt about loving our jobs and our kids, and feeling guilty about the lack of focus we spend at both.  Being a mom means having a lot of guilt, and working mom’s are capitalizing on guilt.  51% of full time working moms feel guilty that they don’t spend enough time with their kids.  
  3. Mom’s, most of us still do the majority of the work around the house even when we work just as many hours as our hubbies.  Female breadwinners still have to shoulder the burden of all the housework as almost one in five men admitted to doing nothing at all around the home. The average working women spends about 17 hours a week working around the home (that’s on top of the 40 hour work week), compared to just under six hours for men.  Preach!  Surveys show that on average men only make a significant contribution in yard work and by mending faulty items around the house. Ok, so my husband constantly has items around the house to work on…
  4. Moms still do the majority of the child rearing.  Let’s be honest, who do most kids go to when they are sick? mom.  And we want to be with them when they are sick because when a mom isn’t feeling guilty she is feeling worried for her babies.  Today my son said, and I quote “your always there for me, no one else is there for me all the time like you”.  And that’s some truth!  Being a mom is all about sacrifice.  It’s not that dad’s don’t care or sacrifice, they so do, their sacrifice is just different.  My husband doesn’t stay up with the kids hurting for their hurt, that’s a total mom thing.  About 54 percent of households with two working parents reports that the mother spends more time caring for the kids. 
  5. Yet even still, working moms are just as likely as moms who don’t work outside the home to say they are very satisfied with their family life.  The truth is, all mom’s love their kids, and whatever path they choose (full time, part time, or stay at home), all moms are doing what they think is best for their families.

Conclusion: All mom’s are tired.  I could give lots of stats about the thankless task of being a stay at home mom, I’ve so been there each time my babies were little, and I almost lost my sanity each time.  I’m just not in that life stage anymore.  Also, I’m well aware that these are blanket generalizations and there are amazing dads out there that break the mold and blow these stats out of the water (I like to call them hero’s).

These stats were all found in different Pew surveys.  The Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan American think tank which is based in Washington, D.C. It provides information on social issues, public opinion, and demographic trends shaping the United States and the world.

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