I don’t like my husband very much

The title should actually read I don’t like my husband very much right now, but whatever.

I should also say, that this is about love, but not about The Love Dare. If I’m being honest, I haven’t done it since before spring break. I know, I made a promise, I will finish it. But it kind of got to the point where I was reading it every day going “I already do this”. And then it was on my nerves…

The truth is that I’m sitting in my room Hellfire, Spitfire mad at my husband, seething in Anger, with a billion things to do, and all I can think about is how very very mad I am. I don’t like my husband very much right now, because he’s selfish. Okay okay, I brag about him all the freakin time, so just give me this moment to complain. He is. He is selfish. When I tell you that my husband hardly lifts a finger inside our house, it is true. I do everything, and I mean everything. I’m off on Fridays, so I love to do that for my husband. He comes home every Friday to a spotlessly clean home, because I’m a neat freak, and honestly I do kind of like to do it. But it’s more than just that. If that man asks me to do anything, and I mean anything, I do it. I get him glasses of water, I get his ice cream, I make dinner, I go and grab this or that, I do everything for that man, because I love him.  And I want to serve him because that’s his love language.

Today I’m stressed, and it would have been nice if that man wanted to do something that I asked him to do just becase. Imagine that I would ask something, and then it would get done, and then my answer would be “oh honey thank you so much for doing that, I love you”. But that didn’t happen today. In fact multiple times today, that didn’t happen. And I lost my cool. I lost it like a crazy fire breathing dragon lady lost it. And then he lost it.

And so, now here I am sitting in my room being really really mad thinking, I don’t like my husband very much right now, and realizing…. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to like my husband. He’s not always very likeable, so that’s easy. Neither am I… But, I do have to love him. That’s the hard part. Love is really hard. So here I am, in my room, drinking wine, eating popcorn (yes that is my favorite thing) and being mad. But in the end, I will still love my husband. Because I’m not all that lovable sometimes either, but mostly because that’s my job, to love and honor my husband.  Plus, he’ll go and be charming again at some point (dear God please, let it be soon) and I won’t be able to resist…

Here’s to love

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